Friday, February 11, 2011
Life Is Not For Sissies
My life is a challenge. It has never been easy. I have always been fascinated by people who seem to "coast" through life. Although I am well aware that most people have hidden challenges that are not apparent to the rest of the world, I know that life is certainly easier for some people than for others. That said, I hate to whine. These past few months, I have had very few words to share that were either positive or new. Everything seemed negative or redundant, or both. So, instead of whining here, I just kept silent.
Inertia is a tremendously powerful force. It kept me going for months last summer, and then it kept me stationary for months this past winter. Whenever I have to face changes, or make decisions about my life, I tend to freeze up. The bigger the decision, the faster I shut down. Crazy. The great irony is that when I worked as a paramedic I made life and death decisions on the spur of the moment. I very rarely hesitated. Go figure. I suppose it's easier to decide the fates of others than our own. When my going gets tough, I pull the blankets up over my head and hide. This is NOT productive behavior!
Food is another powerful force. Its ability to soothe and comfort is legendary. I am very, very good at deriving comfort from nasty processed foods. Salt- and sugar-laden foods kept me company through all of the fall and winter holidays! We were BFFs! My homies and I hung out in the hizzie and had wild times. With friends like that....
I am running with a better class of buds these days. The turning point came when Costco restocked my favorite tortillas. I'd been without them for a couple of months. When they suddenly reappeared in the store, I knew it was time to get back on track. That's when I started pushing the boulder back up the hill. Life isn't for sissies. Good thing I'm not one.