Hectivity

Life is what happens when you're running around dealing with day to day craziness. My new word for this is 'hectivity'. So, what's been happening? Here it is... 

• Suffering through a terrible cold [first one in years... I have turned into a whiny baby]

• Job hunting... phone interviews, in-person interviews, meeting new potential bosses and trying to arrive on time [early, always early... then I sit in the parking lot and read books on my Nook]

• House hunting... it's time to move, and I've just started looking for my next home... exciting and terrifying and nerve-wracking all at once [I do like peeking into other peoples homes... some are living museums to the 1980s... pastel pink and green "tropical decor" makes me shudder]

• Working on a new business venture with a great new friend. [it's a product for people who love their pets... I think we'll have fun and make some money]

• Sending a friend off on a great new life adventure... it's hard to say goodbye to someone, and she has misgivings about leaving, but it's all for a greater good [sometimes a person needs a longer runway to achieve flight]

•  Trying, some days more than others, to stay on the straight and narrow... [I find myself often veering onto the fat and squishy, but my intentions are pure]

•  Vowing to try a little bit harder today than yesterday, and harder still tomorrow.

Hello, hello to my anonymous commenter! I'm glad you checked Highway 150 when you did :-)

Motivations

I can't change without a goal, a reason to drive me forward. In my current state of apathetic couchlumpness, finding a significant motivation has been like finding one leftover chocolate egg buried in the freezer six months after Easter.  But, I am nothing if not ingenious.  After much digging and rearranging I managed to unearth one overlooked egg. More on this later... but rest assured, it was not really a chocolate egg.

*Cough*

*tap*tap*tap*

"Is this thing on? Can you hear me?"

No, it's not a voice from beyond. I really am alive and well. Not so well, really, but alive. One of you is still poking me in my fat white behind, and for that I am grateful. (Thank you, Princess Dieter)  Sometimes the thinnest of threads makes the strongest life line.  Every message you sent to me gave me a little more strength. Added up, they brought me almost to the brink of life. The final push? Don't laugh, but it was a commercial on TV.  Not a diet aid, or a diet plan, or a healthy way of life commercial.  It was a Citibank commercial, for Pete's sake.  I hate Citibank.  But L.P. singing Into the Wild-- "...come save us a runaway train..."  You have to love the irony.

Of course, that's what I've been all this time... a runaway train.  I've written nothing and eaten everything. My A1C is probably up into the diabetic range by now.  I haven't really given a crap about much of anything for a long time.  I am still underemployed, despite immense effort on my part to break into a full time position in my desired profession.  There are also some family issues that wear on me constantly.  Add in the fibromyalgia, and all I want to do is eat to relieve my stress.  In my hedonistic way, that's what I've been doing for more months than I can count. Nom nom nom.  Hell, it works.  Eating sends my endorphin level through the proverbial roof faster than anything else.  I'm addicted to the fatty sugary salty high.  

But, well, I'm too young to give up on life.  I thought I was, but lately I've started to regain some interest in the future.  And that's why I'm here.  Funny thing is, my reawakening has nothing to do with New Year's resolutions.  I think it has more to do with the fact that I'm surrounded by annoying quarter- and half-year residents and they drive me insane. Florida is NOT a fun place when hordes of elderly mid-westerners descend in flocks and droves.  If I were smaller and healthier, I could run faster to escape.... Hey, don't judge... I'll take my motivation wherever I can find it.