Thursday, January 5, 2012

"Is this thing on? Can you hear me?"

No, it's not a voice from beyond. I really am alive and well. Not so well, really, but alive. One of you is still poking me in my fat white behind, and for that I am grateful. (Thank you, Princess Dieter)  Sometimes the thinnest of threads makes the strongest life line.  Every message you sent to me gave me a little more strength. Added up, they brought me almost to the brink of life. The final push? Don't laugh, but it was a commercial on TV.  Not a diet aid, or a diet plan, or a healthy way of life commercial.  It was a Citibank commercial, for Pete's sake.  I hate Citibank.  But L.P. singing Into the Wild-- "...come save us a runaway train..."  You have to love the irony.

Of course, that's what I've been all this time... a runaway train.  I've written nothing and eaten everything. My A1C is probably up into the diabetic range by now.  I haven't really given a crap about much of anything for a long time.  I am still underemployed, despite immense effort on my part to break into a full time position in my desired profession.  There are also some family issues that wear on me constantly.  Add in the fibromyalgia, and all I want to do is eat to relieve my stress.  In my hedonistic way, that's what I've been doing for more months than I can count. Nom nom nom.  Hell, it works.  Eating sends my endorphin level through the proverbial roof faster than anything else.  I'm addicted to the fatty sugary salty high.  

But, well, I'm too young to give up on life.  I thought I was, but lately I've started to regain some interest in the future.  And that's why I'm here.  Funny thing is, my reawakening has nothing to do with New Year's resolutions.  I think it has more to do with the fact that I'm surrounded by annoying quarter- and half-year residents and they drive me insane. Florida is NOT a fun place when hordes of elderly mid-westerners descend in flocks and droves.  If I were smaller and healthier, I could run faster to escape.... Hey, don't judge... I'll take my motivation wherever I can find it.


  1. Ya checked in!!! Sweet!!!

    No judgment here. I'm all about fresh starts. Even if you have to restart every day, I'm all about clinging with your fingernails until your hands are stronger, then your shoulders, and so forth. Strength makes for strength.

    Just pick two things to work on this month. Maybe adding 2 or more veggies to every meal to fill you up and a short walk whenever your schedule permits. Start with 5 mins a week make it 10...the week after 15. It doesn't have to be LONG. It has to be you get in the habit. Habit of veggies. Habit of water. Habit of movement. Habit of X, Y, Z. One at a time. Build upon each.

    So, please...just pick two good things to do for yourself TODAy and THIS MONTH and go for it.

    Thanks for the update. Now, post again!!!! hahhaha

  2. Welcome back! I've been away too. And don't worry no one is judging you! Princess Dieter is totally right though, just pick a couple of things to work on this month. You CAN do it!

  3. Hey you, I am not sure why I decided to check your blog today, but I am so pleased that I found that you are back. I am going to call it one of many nice birthday presents, given today is my birthday. If misery loves company, I too have fallen off the track- not a run away train, but clearly lost. I just checked my Iphone app where I was posting my food intake and it was 25 lbs ago (in the wrong direction). It seems like just a blink of an eye, but it actually took 5 months. So, now I for the next 5 months I get to find my way back and lose the 25lbs one more time (sigh). I guess I thought that regular exercise and eating a salad for lunch everyday would make up for everything else, but I was wrong. Anyway- definitely time to get back on track. Take good care- Hollins78