I am sitting here staring at four chocolate eyeballs. They are from the break room, and I brought them back to my desk. For some reason, I felt the need to test myself. The chocolate eyes are watching me, but I refuse to be the first one to blink. Halloween is indeed a strange time of year!
I spent Halloween lounging at the beach, watching pelicans and terns and frigate birds wheel and dive and bob on the water. Sometimes I find it ironic that the beach, land of lovely bodies and barely-there bathing suits, is one of my favorite places to relax.
Sitting at the beach I see a wide variety of body shapes and sizes as well as varying degrees of self confidence and body self-image. I have seen thin, athletic people in very modest cover-ups and rather large people in two piece suits. Like most people, I used to have typical reactions to what many would consider "inappropriate attire." Society has taught us to denigrate people who are rolling and tumbling out of their too-small bathing suits. My question is, "Why?" Why are we so uncomfortable viewing these people when they are obviously comfortable with what they are wearing? Naturally, I pondered this question whilst sitting under my umbrella.
When I go to the beach, or swim in a pool, I wear a bathing suit covered by a t-shirt and a pair of swim shorts. I am uncomfortable in my fat, and I do not want others to see any more than necessary. This is my choice. A few weeks ago I saw a woman almost my size. She wore a one piece suit and walked confidently about the beach. When I saw her, my first instinct was to cringe, but that rapidly morphed into a feeling of pride. I actually felt proud of this woman I had never met, and would never meet. That she felt comfortable enough to wear what made her happy made me feel fantastic. I can only hope to find that sort of self-confidence.
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