I Can No Longer Sit Still

What has happened to me??  I want to wail.  Sometime in the past two months I turned a major corner in my life.  I was a very happy couch potato.  I used to lounge around and watch TV like a champion wastrel.  

My absolute favorite TV shows are the ones that feature competing chefs:  Top Chef, Iron Chef America, Next Food Network Star, Chopped, and the creme de la creme... Top Chef Masters.  I LOVE these shows, and I can watch them for hours.  I even watch the reruns, watching carefully for tricks and tips I might have missed the first time.  Strangely enough, I have found that I do not actually have to eat food to enjoy it.  I can watch people cook great food on TV and be as satisfied as if I had eaten it myself.  If I could market this quirk, I would be rich beyond my wildest dreams.  I'll let you know if I ever figure it out.  But, back to my laziness...

So, there  I was, watching Chopped.  The couch was soft and squishy, the house was cool, and I was slouched down amongst the cushions.  I was happy.  Knives were flying, appliances were whirling, stoves were flaming, and pans were burbling away.  And then, something extraordinary occurred.  My gaze kept shifting from the TV to the aerobic step sitting next to the coffee table.  I recently dug that step out from under a box of still-too-small clothes hidden deep in a closet.  It sits on the floor near the TV in case I ever feel motivated to use it.  The day I got it out, I managed to step for 2 minutes before flopping back on the couch.  

Tonight, however, I could not stop looking at that step.  Finally, with a sigh of disgust, I hauled myself up off the couch and went to change out of my work clothes.  I came back in shorts and sneakers, and ... I can barely say this next part.  I looked at the couch, looked at the step, and THEN I STEPPED.  Left foot first, for a minute... right foot first for a minute...  I thought, "I should be done by now," but noooooo.  I KEPT STEPPING.  After a few minutes I started stepping up sideways, leading with one foot and then switching to the other.  Ten minutes later I finally gave out and sat back down.  Ten minutes.  That is five times as many minutes as the first time.  I felt like I was possessed.

I am a giant, fat sloth, not an... athlete!  Given a choice between lounging and leaping, I choose comfort every time!  I have no athletic tendencies!  Except, I really do.  I used to bike, and canoe, and sail, and kayak, and hike, and backpack.  I even went rock climbing a few times.  Some vestigial remnant of the person I used to be must have been living inside me all these years.  I have reawakened a sleeping dream.  I have reconnected with a part of myself I thought I had lost forever.  My hope is a living, breathing entity that I am setting free to help me shrink my body and expand my capabilities.  I am alive with wonder and the promise of a future I had given up hope of ever seeing.  I am going to be the person I always wanted to be.. and that is more than I ever thought possible.

I am alive with wonder.