Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Ten Things I Hate About Being Fat

10. Being cautious about walking in nylon workout pants.  Rubbing thighs and nylon?  That's a potentially flammable situation.

9.   Feeling like I have to explain to fellow shoppers and cashiers that it ISN'T for ME whenever I buy ice cream, candy, or baking ingredients for work or a family birthday.  Mind your own business, you sanctimonious &%^*$#.

8.   Clothing manufacturers who think that fat people want to wear shirts with super short sleeves.  This makes me want to scream.  Who wants to wear shirts with tiny sleeves when your arms look like lumpy hams??

7.  People who repeatedly encourage me to eat desserts.  C'mon people!

6.  Having weird squishy lumpy dumpy parts sticking out everywhere on my body.  Why couldn't I be one of those fat people whose fat is all tightly packed and sausage-like?  I am all soft and doughy.

5.  Not being able to sit in a standard beach chair.  I actually squashed one once.  THAT was humiliating.

4.  Tiny bathroom stalls.  If this has ever been an issue for you, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.  I know they are designed by skinny men who never... sit.

3.   Elastic waist pants.  Oh how I hate you, elastic waist pants.

2.   Being treated as though I am invisible.  Hellooooo!  Fat person here!  How could you possibly miss seeing ME?  For pete's sake....

And the number one thing I hate about being fat...

1.   People who think that, because I am fat, I must be stupid.  That ticks me off like nothing else.

What do you hate??  Let me know!


  1. Yes yes yes ... ten times over YES!!!

    I'll add to it: VANITY SIZING! You know ... those stores where miraculously you're a "small" for their clothes when every other store to mankind has you as an "XXL." And the clothes cost 4 times as much but you're just soooooo excited to be buying something that says you're "small" that you don't even care that it's a hideous color/pattern/whatever. You buy 5.

  2. LMFAO!!

    Shirts with teensy sleeves! I HATE THEM!! It has been a pet peeve of mine forever (well, at least as long as I've been fat).

    Also hates:

    --too small auditorium seats

    --too small amusement park rides (waited in line for over an hour to ride a roller coaster, only to have to get off before the ride started because I could not manage to fasten the safety belt--talk about mortified (and this was 50 pounds ago).

    --ordering by myself for my family at the drive-thru (Sometimes, when the kids are waiting at home for supper, I will stop on my way home and get us all something through the drive-through and take it home. Much like your grocery store example, I feel the need to explain that I'm not secretly pulling over somewhere to shamefully eat the entire bag of food all by myself).

    --Having to listen to skinny people moan and groan about how they need to lose 10 pounds. I want to wring their skinny necks.

  3. LOL... too small seats of any kind... having the seat STICK TO YOUR BEHIND when you stand up...

  4. I hate my big boobs..make me look twice as fat, those puppies do!