I seem to have extended my birthday into a week long hiatus from my intense focus on weight loss and fitness finding. I have stopped tracking my food, logging my exercise, and have embraced a devil-may-care attitude toward the entire process. In essence, I have been living like a normal person.
Part of me is happy for the vacation. I feel like I am relaxing by the pool at a hotel next to the highway. To carry the metaphor just a little bit farther, I have washed off the travel dust and am just stretching my legs for a few days before I get back on the road.
Another part of me is nervous. That is the part that worries I might forget to get back on Highway 150. I have realized a number of changes and rewards, and I am concerned that I will decide I've gone far enough. But then I remember where I want to go. There are too many things I want to do and places I want to go to stop now.
In all honesty, I will not get off Highway 150 until I no longer have to worry about fitting into airline seats, getting turned away from amusement park rides, being too heavy for rickety beach chairs, finding special clothing stores with "extended sizes", and having health care professionals raise their eyebrows when they see my weight jotted down on a form. I still have miles to go on the highway.
Get back on that highway girl! Don't wander too far off the path. That's when it gets really hard to get back on! Just focus on how badly you want to be 150!
ReplyDelete<3 Katie
I know that looking at how a "normal person" eats at times can be disheartening. "Why can't I eat that from time to time and stay thin?" flashes through my mind before I have time to think twice. When I DO think twice, I remember that I'm not exactly a normal person. I'm a recovering food addict, a now-thin obese person. I've lost 120 lbs in the last year and am now at my healthy weight but I still can't compare myself to the "normal person" that doesn't struggle with food like I do. There's no self-pity here, just matter-of-factness. Everyone stuggles with something and if I'm going to have one Dorito that will inevitably turn into too many and will unfairly show up on my mid-section the next day, eating like a "normal person" just isn't worth it.
ReplyDeleteThat is so true. I'm actually okay with that. I think I just needed a vacation. Four months of intense focus on my eating and exercising burned me out. I'm down about 58 lbs, and I have NO intention of going back. I just wanted a "maintenance time out." Of course, I turned it into a social experiment. By the end of a week, I was pretty much the same things I have been eating for the last four months. Yea for that. I take that to mean a significant change in lifestyle. What I did add was really limited to some indiscriminate snack choices. What did I learn? I will snack on whatever is available if I let myself; I will not go out of my way to buy any of those snack items; I like being active; I am still on Highway 150 whether or not it's a conscious choice. I'm definitely headed in the right direction!!
ReplyDelete