Monday, August 30, 2010

Hectic Days Are Hell On Diets!

I had a hectic day. I managed to start my day with my usual good, healthy breakfast. After that, the pace of my day picked up a bit. A busy morning followed by a last minute dash for work left me with only a handful of pecans, some dried cranberries, and a single Ghirardelli chocolate square for lunch. I also threw a K2O drink mix tube into my bag along with a Fiber One bar. I can snack at my desk if necessary... what a great place to work! All I had to do was make it through until my dinner break. One of the reasons for the last minute dash was my dinner salad. I knew I would be hungry by dinner time, so I also tossed in a yogurt and a plum. None of this sounds particularly bad, does it?

I broke up the chocolate square and tossed it into the bag of pecans and cranberries to make a nice trail mix. I mixed and drank the K2O water a couple of hours later. I forgot about the Fiber One bar. 

Dinner time arrived, and I went to the break room and dutifully ate my salad and my plum. I forgot about the yogurt. I went back to my desk and worked the rest of my shift. 

When I got home I had a few things to take care of and a phone call to return. In spite of a building headache, I did all my chores before thinking about what kind of snack I would have. Again, I checked MyPlate to see what would fit in the best. I read through what I'd eaten for the day.

Holy Moly! On the days that I work I usually log in all my meals at the same time, early in the day. Today was no different. Today, however, I didn't eat everything I had logged. Even if I had, I would have made it to only 950 calories. It's no wonder I had a headache. During the entire day I had only managed to consume 711 calories. That's less than half of what I am supposed to eat!

Sometimes I worry about my reluctance to eat. When we begin to diet, we are told to ignore our hunger, to learn to live with hunger. I got very good at ignoring my hunger and denying myself food. Sometimes I think I have gotten too good. The new joke is that I am the fattest anorexic person in the world. (No, I know anorexia isn't funny, and I didn't mean to treat it as such.) But even as big as I still am, I have become a chronic under eater. In response to some feedback that I was not eating enough (1200 calories a day) I recently increased my calorie goal to 1500 cal/day. That is the amount of food I need according to the Harris-Benedict formula. I am struggling to meet this goal. Saturday, I did not. Sunday, I came within 50 calories. Score! Today? Oh, my, no. Without a trip to a fast food place, which are all at least 15 miles away, there is no way I can meet my goal. I will try. I will eat something tonight. I know I need to eat. If I stop and reflect, I do feel hungry. For some reason, the hunger is muted. It speaks to me in a very quiet voice. Tomorrow I will try again to learn how to listen more closely.

So, I'm sitting here eating a bowl of Kashi Go Lean cereal with unsweetened vanilla almond milk. That brings me to just under 900 calories. I wish we had a chat room so I could ask you all for ideas of what to eat next. It is now 9:45 pm and the kitchen is officially open.


  1. I didn't read your post until just now, but I would have to you to treat yourself to something you usually try to stay away from! :) Eat a brownie or a 1/2 cup of ice cream! Put some of your favorite high cal dressing on your salad next time! Mmmm now I'm hungry, I wish that I could miraculously end up with some extra calories at the end of the day... lol

  2. My pick would be a slice or two of pizza or ice cream!

  3. I suppose it's actually good that I didn't have any of those things in the house! Thanks for the ideas though :-D

  4. Just found your blog from 266. Please feel to visit my blog that I just started.

    I think a lot of people that are succeeding at losing weight can be like that. It gives us a sense of control over a life that is drastically changing. Plus, controlling what we eat is highly intimate and for many people it really reflects a means of dedication and resistance to temptation. Also, I think stereotypes about heavy people being without self-control or being impulsive make it desirable to show people that their ideas about heavy people are wrong.